A Crisis or a Turning Point ?

Believing or not, we had a dangerous talk today. I know it's me rasing the unpleasant subject first, nevertherless he has thought about it for a few days.

Don't know whether the situation has been passed, or it is left unsolved. One thing for sure is that I will not expect from him/the relationship too much. I'll change the way I usually communicate by as well as the attitude. Everyone has their own personality and weakness, even he is my close, it does not mean that he needs to do what I expect.

I feel sad meanwhile, feel not being understood. Somehow I really want to give up having a relationship. I know I have to tolerate other people's problem wherever in the working field or in the studying field, but you know there is a distance between you and them, so no much harm. But having a relationship is different, especially for whom is eager for a soul mate. I do really want to date with someone who can easily realise me and tolerate my negative personalities. Maybe that's why I always like someone whom is senior than me. This is not a good attitude, I know, yet I am too tired of managing a relationship, am I selfish? I don't know, I just know that really eager for someone who really appreciate both sides of me, I will devote myself to you if you are the one who knows me.